i'm slowly turning into you

I'm so slowly turning into you
Turning a red knife around my throat
I'm so slowly ruining everything I have and how do I possibly get my self
Out
Of this when it's only what I've been taught?

How can I do anything other than cry
Every time I hear sighs blown down on me from the
Towering shadows of youth?
I'm not short anymore
Why am I looking up at tears dropping
So slowly onto my forehead?

There are steps out of this hole but every time I jump
I'm not fast enough and they
Steepen a little.
I'm so slowly being dropped into a smooth walled well with
No rope for me to grab onto.

How can I tell myself I'm any different than you
When we're the same person?
How can I trick my feet into reversing
The footprints they've
So slowly made?

I have to live up to the yearbook title of
"Most likely to succeed"
When no one notices me
Choking
On my own blood and
So slowly dying before
I get the chance.

I'm so slowly beating you up for what you've done to me but
The bruises are showing up on
My body.

I'm still turning into you so why
am I you?

I guess I'm not realizing "so slowly"
Can be over in an instant.